It’s late and I should be sleeping. But sometimes sleep is overrated. Especially when you have a lot on your mind. (Holla!)
My house is quiet- kiddos are in bed, my nails are freshly painted and I can’t stop thinking about love.
Love for my rockin husband who picked up load after load of pallets today for his DIY Diva.
Love for my 3 precious children who I can’t get enough of .
Love for my Creator whose love came down and rescued me.
Right now I’m in the middle of reading the book “Undaunted” by Christine Caine. If you haven’t read it, get it. Tomorrow. (**Warning- this book will wreck you fast!) We gave this book away as a gift to all the Mom’s on Mother’s Day at Church Arise. I’m a little more than half-way through it and a couple lines keep coming back to me. Mind if I share?
1. “But just as life will upend you, so will love.”
I don’t know what it is about that four letter word. It’s amazing. It’s stupid. It’s the most beautiful thing ever. It sucks. Why does love have to be so fickle?
But ah-hah….It’s not love that’s fickle is it….it’s us. It’s me. So often I find myself loving life, loving my husband, loving my littles…only the next day finding myself glaring at my husband, getting impatient with my kids, and erasing all appointments with Jesus. Anyone with me? Helloooooo? Shoot….
Just as life upends you, so does love. What does that mean to you? To me, it shouts to trust in love. Trust that even WHEN we get hurt BECAUSE we’ve loved, we will be okay. Trust in the One who created love. Because at the end of the day- when we’re at the end of our rope- the only One that can rescue us is Him.
#2. “Disappointments leave something: a gift, an opportunity, a possibility to create change, to move from the valley of the shadow of death to new horizons, and to bring others with us on that road.”
Christine goes on to say something profound: the word “appointment” comes from within the word “disappointment”. I know it might be hard to see, but there’s a treasure buried deep in these words. It’s so easy to look at disappointments with “bitter-bifocals” on. I mean, really….does anyone WANT to be disappointed? Heck no! But Jesus doesn’t promise us that we’d be free from disappointment in life. What He does promise is that we’d have Him to help us THROUGH life’s disappointments.
In this present season, one of the challenges I face is working full-time. As my husband and I plow the fields to plant this church, one of the realities was that I would need to work for a season. As we moved forward with this new challenge, I knew it would be hard, as any new season is. But I don’t think I anticipated the disappointment I would face. Disappointment in not getting to spend more time with my kids. Disappointment in the lack of dates with my husband. Disappointment in the fact that my time was going toward “just paying the bills” and not standing beside my husband while planting this church.
And to be honest with you, I’ve camped here for quite a while. Until now. Until this book.
Have I been looking at these disappointments as a gift? Ummmm, NO! Have I seen them as an opportunity to grow? Ummmm, NO! What I have been focused on was me. Plain ol’ me. Not very exciting, I must say. And as the Lord uncovered the selfishness and pride that resided deep in my heart, all that lay there was a 35 year old daughter who longed to be loved.
But did Jesus leave me there?
Nope.
Jesus led me to the scripture in Ephesians 3 that says,
And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
When we’re celebrating, He’s there.
When we’re in a boat of disappointment, He’s there.
So when I am full of selfishness and pride, He still loves me?
Yep.
When I can only look at life through bitter-bifocals, He still loves me?
Yep.
Because His love is our foundation. “With both feet planted firmly on love….”
He is our rescuer and I will eternally be indebted to Him for that.
xoxo Audra